Time

The blue bar has been stuck at about an inch across my screen.
Waiting.
More waiting.
This is not why I made the trek to a coffee shop… for the internet to NOT work. I mean isn’t that the primary purpose of going to one anyway? To get a side of coffee with your free wifi? That’s what the $5.00 Americano pays for right? That, and keeping my hipster barista clad in his expensive hobo-chic flannel and torn jeans.
But apparently Whistler, B.C. hasn’t caught on to this current coffee shop requisite.
Oh well. The view – a towering snow-covered mountain peak set against a powder blue sky with wispy slate clouds hovering here and there – makes up for it I suppose. I mean when there’s such a view to be had it seems almost criminal to be staring at a Facebook news feed.

 

Yeah, the internet’s down.
But I’ve managed to beat the rush. I sit perched in my corner bar seat (definitely the best seat in the house) and watch the skiers and snowboarders make their way back from the mountain, all their gear in tow. Maybe some day that’ll be me again. Man I loved skiing when I was a kid!
But for now I’m content with the buttery-smooth coffee and jammin’ tunes of Mount Currie Coffee Co., the fact that I get to wear shades (the sun finally came out!!!), and the 5+ mile jog I took today in this alpline heaven. It was by no means record-breaking even for me, but a pretty big milestone- all things considered.
And Monday is the big day. The day I finally return to work since mononucleosis.
40 days of rest.
Full of sleep, long walks and time to reflect. Reflect on my recklessness and God’s hand of intervention and provision.
Time. Lots of time.Without pointe shoes. Without ballet. Six weeks and four days to be exact. I haven’t taken that much time off since I was twelve. No joke.
Time. Time to worry because too much time has passed.
Will my body still remember how to do this? How to tendu? How to pirouette? How to dance!? Will I ever be able to get my body back into shape?
 
In my BSF study we’ve been making our way through Leviticus – not exactly a page-turner if I’m gonna be honest. But when we hit chapter 25, when the anxiety hit an all-time high, well wouldn’t you know the Lord, He met me there.
In the worry. In the Word.
Sabbath rest. Sabbath years. No work for 365 days. No planting. No sowing. No pruning. Just rest. For the people. For the land. Sounds great at first but then… yes… just let it sink in a bit. The sneaky whisper of anxiety bubbles up – woven within our human nature.
No work’s great and all, but where are you going to get food for today? How about tomorrow? And what about next year when you haven’t planted a single thing? Where’s it going to come from then? If you don’t do it, who will?
 
The voice of worry. The voice of striving. Not the voice of a loving God who provides our daily bread. Not the voice of a gracious God who allows us to glean from His goodness. Not the voice of a sacrificial God who did not even spare His only Son.
In light of this – of His good and faultless character – how can I doubt?  “ How will he not also, along with him, graciously give [me] all things?”
Sabbath rest. A time to trust. Trust that He. Will. Provide. Period.
Sufficient for each day; no more, no less. He promises He will. I can choose to listen to the lies of Worry or I can trust and thank Him for providing my daily bread, choosing to live “daily” – right here, right now in Today. Easier said than done, but, well, that’s for another post…

 

 

 

 

 

Harder than waiting, harder than running 5 miles, harder than dancing is resting – trusting. That’s the real work that I’ll be doing over the coming weeks and months as I step back into the studio. Trusting that He is with me through all of this. He will strengthen my ankles and help my muscles fire. He will restore my stamina and endurance. He will get me back on my leg and toughen my toes. All I need I can find in Him.
So ready or not, here we come. It’s time!

 

Choosing to trust. Choosing to thank. Choosing to believe and dance.

“The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:28-31

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will hold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Time

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hiiii Jessica! Love your writing, sweetie! I had mono at the age of 19, and it rocked my world. I believe that it was God's way of driving His point home…Be still and know I am God. I did a lot of growing in a different way during the 2 1/2 months of rest. Take care of you and be well! Hugs and blessings, Kathy Heiser

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s