#100 (for lack of a better title)

Yep. Post 100. Hard to believe. Hard to believe it didn’t happen sooner.
I think the saddest part about this post is that I’ve almost written as much in the past two and a half months for this blog as I did the entire year of 2011. Yeah… That’s kind of disgusting. That absolutely cannot happen this year. Cannot. 

This is going to be a bittersweet post. Sorry to anyone who was looking for something sunny and cheery. The weather provided that. It was an absolutely incredible day here in Seattle! Blue sky, sunshine and a gorgeous sunset. And it started out grey and rainy! Thanks Lord for turning the tables around… It was a much welcomed surprise.

So bittersweet. Bittersweet for a number of reasons, but the first being that this is the last thing I have to do (other than click a button submitting my final portfolio) for my Bellevue College English 255 Creative Non-Fiction Writing Class I’ve been taking this Winter Quarter.
That should be a great thing, right? I’m almost done with the quarter! I’m almost done with my A.A.!!! Who’d ever thought that would happen? Just an AP credit transfer and a Symbolic Reasoning course away from saying goodbye to Bellevue College. Pretty exciting stuff.
But like I said, it’s bittersweet because this is the last time I can take this class… this creative non-fiction writing class. To even try and describe what a blessing it’s been in my life would be, well, to be honest, quite impossible. There aren’t words to express the profound impact it’s had on me.
Someday I want to be a writer. The future is not longer this unknown unforeseeable passionless void. The Lord has given me a voice and I’m so excited to see how He’s going to use it. And this new passion and desire to write He cultivated through this class. Yep. Wow. No words. Thank you just seems too small.

Lindsi Dec and Lesley Rausch ©Angela Sterling Photography

And yet I don’t live in the Future, I live in Today. And today the first passion God gave me, burned brightly within my heart and soul: Ballet. Today I saw my co-workers perform PNB’s premier of David Dawson’s A Million Kisses to My Skin. And as I watched them literally I felt like my skin was the only thing holding back the deep longing I had to run out on that stage and dance that ballet. In my eight seasons of dancing professionally there have only been two ballets that have had such a profound connection not just with my mind, body and heart, but with my soul. This is one of them.
I found myself saying to the Lord, as tears welled up in my eyes (even now they’re returning), “Lord I know that one day I will dance this ballet. Be it here on earth or in Heaven above I will dance this ballet. And I’ll dance it for You! Because this ballet is what Heaven feels like.”

It reminds me of that famous quote from Chariots of Fire:

I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure. 

God made me for a purpose. To bring Him glory and enjoy Him forever. He’s made me His own. He’s making me a writer, and many other things besides that… But He’s also made me a ballerina. And when I dance I feel His pleasure. It’s like a million kisses to my skin. His kisses. He’s pretty great!

So what has He made you for? What passions has He given you? Do you feel His pleasure? Oh that everyone in the whole world could feel it! It is unlike anything you could dream of or imagine!

And if you want to see what that pleasure looks like danced out on stage, see what Heaven feels like, come and see PNB perform this tremendous piece. But hurry and buy your tickets here. It’s only this weekend and next!

Here’s a taste of the first movement performed by the Dutch National Ballet. Enjoy!


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