Well it’s not official yet, but it looks like I have Anemia.
So what does this mean, you might ask, other than bruising like a peach?
Well… it explains why I’ve been experiencing extreme fatigue (I’ve overslept my alarm everyday this week), nausea, dizziness, at times racing heart, and felt feverish and overheated. It’s either that or I’m pregnant…
Bahahahahaha!!!!! Immaculate conception? I think not. Jesus is coming again but not that way, and definitely not through me… I’m no one’s Mary. I wish I were, but, nope… not there yet.
At any rate, we’ve been rehearsing like crazy the past 3 weeks, learning 3 new ballets (Concerto DSCH, Six Dances, and Glass Pieces), remembering 3 old ones (Serenade, “Cool” from West Side Story Suite, and 3 Movements) and generally dancing full days. Being anemic doesn’t make this process easy. In fact it makes it quite challenging, to put it mildly. Needless to say I get home after sweating out all the liquid in my body and collapse on my bed. Forget dinner, I just want to sleep. But no… I have to write papers. Papers on things I like to write about, but papers nonetheless. And with little energy, at times this task seems insurmountable.
“But when I am weak, then I am strong.”
But by the grace of God it somehow is accomplished. So here is a sampling of my writing (complete with photos) on something I dearly love… Enjoy!
At the home where I was raised there live two beautiful Katsura trees. I don’t think they’ve always been as tall and stately as they are today, but like two sisters standing side-by-side, utterly inseparable, they have grown and matured over the years. In truth they are the most beautiful creatures I’ve ever beheld. Their slender bows and branches remind me of statuesquely toned arms – neither bulky nor brittle – outstretching in all directions. Dressed in a graceful green leaf sequined gown that flutters and shimmers with the passing breeze, these sisters ever so faintly exude a perfume of burnt sugar that entrances and allures.
These ladies, these trees, have taught me so much about beauty- true beauty. You see theirs is a beauty that’s 100% natural. They don’t starve themselves to maintain a waif-like silhouette. They don’t kill themselves with hours of exhausting exercise all in the pursuit of the perfect “bikini body.” They don’t paint their faces with pounds of make-up to hide unsightly blemishes, and they don’t dress themselves in the trendiest garb in order to fit in. No. These exquisite ladies are true to themselves – true to who God created them to be. Comfortable in their own bark they exude peace; they radiate joy. Can you imagine if instead of wanting to be their gorgeous selves, these Katsura trees tried to be a towering Redwood or a billowy Willow? It sounds absurd doesn’t it?
And yet how many times do I wish I were somebody other than myself? How often do I strive with all my might to be beautiful, as if it were some elusive thing I had to wrestle, beat into submission and then squeeze myself into? Unfortunately, this is how I see beauty. But the sister trees live beauty very differently. They are beautiful. Even in the winter, stripped of their green sequined gown, I have never seen anything more breathtaking than their bare snow laden branches. Beauty just is. No striving necessary. It doesn’t come from a number on a scale or from the clothes we wear, but rather it’s knit into the very fiber of our being, at the heart of every created soul.
I am beautiful. Period. The Katsura sisters taught me this.
These are the sequins I was talking about…
Bare branched and beautiful!
Their snow-laden bows remind me of ladies wearing elegant elbow-length white gloves. I wonder what black-tie party they’re going to?